USBOB NEWS
FOOTBALL
Yesterday we were to play Hoggs team. They did not turn up. Lets say we win 10-0 by default. Still no news from any of the Teams.
EXCLUSIVE TO OSBM:
Scotland are to play New Zealand on May 27th. Don't ask me, just belive. |
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News
28-8-2002
Welcome back to Baillie News. Nothing much is going to happen until Baillie gets "In The Mood." I would take a guess the Bails will be getting "Mellow" in around 28days.
19-9-2002
Bails is pleased to announce that he has recived maths workbook No.75. He also invested 79p in a "Bendy Ruler." This ruler seems to be unbreakable but it can break other people. I (Lroy) recieved a slight dent but Dodds got a mighty gash across his hand and fingers causing him to pull out of his tug-of-war team for at least a week. This means of course, bails can use it as a weapon of war.
5-9-02
In a sad act of desperation, Baillie, at the Taj bus stop, has been attacked by world domination seeking hammsters. Bails escaped, taking out the hammster with his ruler. Well purchased Bails. According to Gaylord, these hammsters attacked Bails and Tony Blair is next, then they will hit the top. Mr. Z. If you see a hammster about 5'11", buck teeth, slighty large cheeks, get in touch will the Ailsa Hospital as soon as possible.
21-9-02
I know what your thinking....but that's another story. Today, I heard through a reliable source that Baillie has been transformed into a fish! Don't ask me to explain it as I can't, but I believe he is either a Trout or a Salmon. If you happen to be in the area of a beach in the South-West of Scotland look out for him. You can't miss him, he is a fish with dog like features, and curly hair.
10-10-02
Baillie acts? Yesterday and tonite only, Baillie stars in the Prestwick Academy version of "Annie." Bails, as you could guess, plays a homosexual Buttler. He appears to have much power in the play, controling the two French Maids (lets call them Debs and Jen.) from what i've heard, it looks good. Get you tickets for yesterdays performance at 5 and 7 quid sterling.
14-10-02
The marketing of this site wil begin on Sat 19th Oct. 3 sizes of poster are avalable. The marketing of this site will begin on Sat 19th Oct. 3 sizes of poster are available for download. E-mail my_new_pony@hotmail.com with keyword Posters to receive them. In other Baillie news, the hamsters made an unexpected guest appearance at Annie. Bails 2 female servants turned out to be cleverly disguised Iraqi refugee rodents. Bails was confused when their lines came out as "snerly Krimbo!"
20-10-02
Clearly since we are on holiday Baillie News is running thin. Just like the pancake he had this morning for lunch. It was so thin... he had 2. what i say is, Baillie, Don't mug yourself. You have to keep your street cred, and its going down the drain like Ulrika Johnstones career.
29-10-02
BAD NEWS. Baillie has cropped his hair. This may be bad news for us, but it of cosrse helf the poor African children. So far the harvest has made 354 rugs, 78 layers of cake icing, enough oil to solve the worlds energy crisis and enough dandruff to form 3 indoor skiing centers. Baillie is also supporting the "Get USBOB a strip" campaign. If you are a major multinational buisness willing to sponser us, contact Lroy. The Official OSBM trip will take place on Nov 9 with a trip to Murryfield to see Scotland Vs Romania.
06-11-02 GET IN THERE! We have been told to get in there...and we have. Due to the changing of the moon and sun, we are now right in there. (There being osbm2002) We are well on track for our 2000 visitors to the site by the end of the month. If we do not reach our target, we may have to extend osbm2002 until we do. Sorry Haystackle. Baillie said: "What? I only asked for some cheese."
9-11-02
NO-SHOW,RUGBY HO. Baillie did NOT attend the official OSBM trip. His excuse was that he needed the toilet. Fair enough, his "problem" prevents this, but I told him that the excrimental deposition system on our suggested route recived 10/10 in a recent poll. Baillie says the North Pole is no system of jugment for grading exrimental depostion systems. I have to agree. Bails also recently passed a Maths unit assesment. On his *#rd attempt. Hehehe.
11-11-02
HEHEHE! Today, a 7ft plank of wood attached to a wall on one side by hinges, viciously and inappropriately attacked the haystack. Bails calls this a door. The savage beast cracked the legend over the head with a small omelette and a large buckle from a guitar. This of coarse shoved some life in to that brain. Baillie however is not as lucky as the door and was taken to the hospital and received 37 stitches to the shneb. What a stupid boy!
19-11-02
Today, Baillie and i have taken the decision to start OBFC (Official Baillie Fan Club)anyone who approves of this idea leave a message of support on the guestbook. In other news, for Children In Need bails removed the hairs of of another Graeme. Ohh well, what ever takes the haystack's fancy.
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